Brief Thoughts On...

            Well it’s been a while sense I’ve done anything here on Illusive One’s Reviews for a number of reasons.  This is mainly because there really hasn’t been anything that I’ve really wanted to write about over the past month and to be perfectly honest, their still isn’t as I’ve been and still am distracted with other things.  So I decided to do this post entitled Brief Thoughts On…to give brief thoughts on various things that I’ve seen, done or played over the past few months that I didn’t do any kind of post for one reason or another.  So read on and let me know what you think of these things and sorry for being gone for so long.

Films

            Unfortunately since the release of The Dark Knight Rises their really haven’t been to many films that have come out in theaters that I’ve had much interest in seeing.  The one exception to this has been The Expendables 2 which was probably the most fun I’ve had watching a film all summer as it had great action scenes, a great sense of humor, great character interaction and storyline that was surprisingly solid for the genera.  The only problems that I had with it was that Chuck Norris and Jet Li were underused, the cinematography was distractingly grainy and unfocused at certain points and the character played by Liam Hemsworth was poorly written and acted and just annoyed the crap out of me.  But still, I really enjoyed it and the reason that I didn’t write a full review on it was because I was helping Korsgaard doing his video review of it and he more or less said all that was needed to be said.  Take a look at it and tell me what you think.

Seriously though, go see this film.  It is a ton of fun.

            I also rewatched The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers and I have to say that TDKR was a lot better on a second viewing.  Once I got past the facts that Batman is in little of the film,  that it simply wasn’t as good as its predecessor, and the drag of the second act, (much easier on a second viewing), it was a lot easier to focus on the film itself as what it is as opposed to what it could have been.  The plot, while a bit bloated, is again still a lot better than 90% of what is out there in the genera and the way they characterize Bruce Wayne and how they play up the man vs. mask conflict is probably the best they have ever done in a comic book film and is incredibly tense and full of great suspense.  From a technical standpoint the film probably has the best special effects that I’ve seen this year, along with great cinematography and direction and tense, well-choreographed action scenes with an incredibly well used score and I was really able to enjoy these things a lot more on a second viewing.  Granted, I still think that the film could have been a lot better and my previous review still stands but it is a film that was better for me on a second viewing.

            The Avengers, however, didn’t fare as well.  Whereas the good things came out for TDKR on a second viewing The Avengers’ problems came out more on a second viewing.  The most glaring issue was the plot and characterization and how bare boned they are, especially in comparison to The Dark Knight Trilogy, the Bryan Singer X-Men films and the Spider-Man films, (both Sam Rami and rebooted films).  This has been a reoccurring problem with the entire Avengers franchise but here it’s even worse for me given the critical praise of the film and the fact that it has plot holes and things that the writers pulled right out of there asses that rival Prometheus in head scratching moments.  And unlike TDKR the film really doesn’t have a well-used score or cinematography to back it up and many of the composite shots where the actors are acting in front of a green screen look really crappy.  But keep in mind that this is just hot air due to the film’s popularity and my hatred of the franchise and it’ll probably cool down after a while.  But like TDKR my previous review still stands and I do understand why so many people liked it.  It’s a fun summer blockbuster with great action, above average special effects, (for the most part), very good acting, had a great sense of humor and more than deserved the money that it made   Just don’t expect me to share your feelings on it.

            I also got the chance to watch The Gray starring Liam Neeson which turned out to be an incredibly depressing film that layered on soul crushing plot point after soul crushing plot point.  Liam Neeson gave what was, in my opinion, probably the best performance of his career and I really hope that the academy will at least give him a nomination for his performance here.  I also took a look at Chronicle which turned out to be an extremely entertaining and well-made film and it’s one of those lower budget films that can totally back and hope that everyone involved in its makings has a great carrier.  I can say the exact same thing for Cabin in the Woods.  Unfortunately I can’t reveal too much of what happens for spoiler purposes but it is an extremely entertaining film and one of the more obscure films of the year that I highly recommend watching at least once.  I also had the chance to see Snow White and the Huntsman and I surprisingly enjoyed it for various reasons.  But did they really expect us to Kristen Stewart was better looking than Charlize Theron?  Yea…I don’t think so.

            Films that did not fare with me so well with me however included the 1981 film Excalibur that had shoddy acting, un-compelling characters who will often disappear and die off camera and a very weak plot that tried to tell a big story but ultimately failed to give it any real meat and in truth, the only thing worth noting about this film is that it contained early roles for Liam Neeson and Patrick Stewart.  Avoid it if you get the chance because it is not worth your time.  Another god-awful film I had the displeasure of seeing was The Wicker Tree which somehow managed to be worse than the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man and I honestly did not know that was possible.  There was also Wrath of the Titans which, outside of a few moments, failed to impress me and I just felt like I had wasted my time after watching it.  But by far the worst film that I had the displeasure of seeing was Battleship.  In a nut shell, the acting, dialog, characters, special effects and plot were all beyond terrible and I really don’t wish to bring back the memory of this by thinking about why it was so terrible.  If you want to see a complete review of why this film was so goddamn awful read Korsgaard’s review of it because he can do it more justice then I can.  Let it suffice to say, however, that it is easily the worst film I have seen all year and has quickly ranked up there with one of my most hated films of all time.  Seriously, it was BAD! 

T.V. Shows

            Now, I don’t do to many things on T.V. series because there is usually WAY too much to cover so I’m just going to give you some brief thoughts on the latest seasons of certain series that I’ve watched recently and of the complete series that I finished watching this year.  The one that left the biggest impression on me was Battlestar Galactica and what a great series that was.  It had really good special effects for a show series, really good acting and characterization and fantastic storylines and subplots that addressed all kinds of issues ranging from politics, racism and basic human rights.  And it had a lot of kick-ass fighting.  That always helps to.  The most glaring problem with the series is, as any fan of the series know, is the ending.  I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t seen it but let me just say that it makes the original ending to Mass Effect 3 look like Toy Story 3 in comparison.  Seriously!  It is that bad and I found myself constantly hoping that the last act of the final episode was some kind of dying dream or something and it remains the finale that I hate above all other finales.  

            The Newsroom was a very good series, with good writing that managed to incorporate personal drama, comedy that comes from it, along with addressing issues that do plague not only the world but the world of the news and how it’s been slowly selling out in order to attract more views for advertisement money and I honestly don’t think that this is something that is not addressed enough in any form.  Needless to say, I really enjoyed it and unless you’re a right wing nut, you probably will to.  The latest season of Breaking Bad, while still good, just doesn’t seem to be as compelling as previous seasons and it seems like the series is on its last leg.  Hell on Wheels on the other hand, seems to be getting better and I can’t wait to see what happens next in the series.

             I also had the chance to re-watch the various series of Bruce Timm’s D.C. Animated Universe.  With the Batman series, I found that for as many episodes that were above average or great, there were just as many that were just ok but it’s still the strongest and most potent of the series’ and I highly recommend that you take a look at it if you’re feeling nostalgic.  The Superman series, while a lot better then I remembered from my youth, kind of comes off as the Batman series’ less talented brother, with villains that aren’t nearly as interesting or compelling and Superman himself is just a boring protagonist and isn’t memorable in anyway save for his powers that are oddly inconsistent in their strength.  What made the series ultimately work, however, was that writing of the series’ storylines were consistently good and the villains really did work, mostly due to the voice acting by people like Clancy Brown, Michael Ironside, and Malcolm MacDowell.  While it certainly isn’t as good Batman and is probably the weakest of the Universe, (with the exceptions of Static Shock and Zeta Project that I never watched), it certainly is worth watching if you’re a fan of the characters and want to see a less hammy adaptation of the Man of Steel.

Batman Beyond likewise was a lot better then I remembered and like its predecessor, knew how to bring in the more human elements that come with these kinds of stories.  It’s only real fault is that it’s villains just weren’t nearly as interested, sympathetic or compelling as those of the other D.C. Universe series and can sadly take away from the experience if you let it.  Justice League, on the other hand, isn’t as good as I remembered it, as three big things kind of hindered my enjoyment of it.  The first was that the episodes were almost always two parters which almost always ensured a lot of padding for the episodes which bored the crap out of me.  The second, sadly, was Batman.  While he is undoubtedly the best hero character in the Timmverse, in this series he came off as being really awkward and out of place among all these other heroes who’s powers were borderline dietic.  The final problem was that if focused a little too much on John Stewart and Hawkgirl and this romantic subplot they had going on between the two.  While I that this was done well, it ended up dominating the entire show, making the two of them the main characters as opposed to the ensemble series you would expect from a show like this.  Justice League: Unlimited, however, was fantastic with great storylines, characterization, and action that frequently addressed the rolls and potentially uncontrollable powers of superheroes and somehow actually managed to be more mature then anything the Marvel Cinematic Universe has come out with, (I know this seems like I’m taking pot shots at The Avengers but I am being very serious on this.  It really treats you a lot more like an adult then those films ever do).  While I think that it went a little downhill in the second half it still was a great series and one that I cannot recommend enough if you’re a D.C. fan.

Videogames

For as much as I love video games, I haven’t been playing to many new ones lately, as their really haven’t been to many worth noting that have been released or good enough for me to finish or recent enough to do a review on.  With Star War: The Old Republic, the storylines and characters are really good but it has too much of the grind and dullness that other MMOs like World of Warcraft have and my playing of it has been off and on.  Kingdom of Amalur: Reckoning didn’t really catch my interest and Dragon’s Dogma was just one of the most repetitive pieces of crap I have ever played despite some fast, slick and epic combat gameplay.  The enhanced edition of Witcher 2 was a lot of fun but I had a hard time getting into it, mainly because I had a hard time getting invested in the story and characters as I hadn’t played the first game before this one.  Max Payne 3 was an awesome game with really fun gameplay and a great protagonist.  The only problem I had with it was that the main story just didn’t do it for me and felt kind of like the plot of a half assed action movie.  The only other games of note are the recent Transformers games, which are pretty good, especially for the licensed game genera, which is usually infamously bad.  Hopefully as October rolls around I’ll get back to my usual videogame reviewing self but for now this is all I have.

Comics

Just about everything that I have been reading in this department has been The New 52 and most of my previous opinions have stayed the same.  The only one that I can really think of where my opinion has radically changed is Superman and Men of War as those lines have easily gone from Browse to Read.  Superman, to put it simply, has gotten a lot better and with Men of War I read over the secondary storylines which I failed to do the first time which made the series a whole lot better. 

But then we have Young Justice, which I failed to review in previous months.  Why?  Well, over the past year, as you no doubt have noticed, my interest in this blog has kind of diminished, but that’s actually not the main reason.  You see, I did read over all of the lines in that section and none of them really stuck out and I didn’t have much to say about them.  But sense I have an obligation to say something, here are some brief thoughts on them. Teen Titans is good with good storylines and compelling characters that actually act more mature and believable then The Justice League, (make of that what you will), and some cool crossovers with Superboy and Legion Lost.  But it is flawed with a lot of issues with the dialog and only just in my Read section.  Static Shock is the definition of ok, as it doesn’t really bring anything that we haven’t seen before but nothing that I would consider bad, and there were definitely other titles that they should have axed before this one.  I say give it a Browse.  Hawk and Dove….Rob Liefeld drew it and wrote the last four issues.  Do I really need to say anything more?

Blue Beetle I think is very good as the conflict between the Scarab and the protagonist is a good one and the characters are very compelling.  I have heard complaints that it sucks when compared to the original run of the character but coming from a new comer to the series I say give it a Read.  As far as Legion and Legion Lost goes, I really don’t have much to say as it really didn’t leave much of an impression on me.  I say Browse them both but be prepared for a bit of a learning curve.

And that’s it for this article.  Hopefully this will be the start of me getting back into blogging and over the next few months I’ll probably be back up to speed.  For the more immediate future, Korsgaard and I have another video planned out for Dredd 3D which will be up on Monday at the earliest and Wednesday at the latest so be on the lookout for that.  I also plan on doing a text review of that as well as one of The Master and possibly the prequel comic for Dredd 3D so be on the lookout for that.  In the meantime, it’s great to be back.  So until next time this is The Illusive One signing off. 

My Response to Korsgaard’s Response.

            Well, it’s been a slow month, and I’m kind of ashamed that so few posts have come out.  My first post of the month was dedicated to going over Korsgaard’s, (of Korsgaard’s Commentary), Top Ten Fuckups for my one year anniversary and he’s still insists that I do a best of post for him.  Why have I refused to do this?  Well, because he’s been a bit of a naggy dick about it and I enjoy hearing him beg.  Not to mention it’s his idea and will probably just fuel his arrogance and self importance.  Continue to beg Korsgaard.  It makes me laugh.

            But that aside, Korsgaard posted a lengthy comment on my Top Ten Fuckups post.  Originally I was going to respond to it on the comments page, but the damn thing was so damn long that I decided it would make a better post then a comment.  So here it is.  My Response to Korsgaard’s Response.

V.S.



Korsgaard:  Add links.  They help.

Illusive One:  I’m just going to be very blunt about this.  This was not an easy post to put together.  I had all kinds of technical problems with the words, the way everything was ordered and such which still continue and make no sense whatsoever.  Hence why they’re not there.  Annoying text problems that make it very difficult to add anything.

Korsgaard:  I will be the first to admit I need to have a better editor than myself, and am happy to say I have two folks who will now assist in my endeavor. Thank you for saying it was well written.

Illusive One:  Good to hear and you’re welcome.

Korsgaard:  The Avatar post was done in 2010 because I had not seen the movie until that week in August.

Illusive One:  And?  I wasn’t criticizing the date you did it.

Korsgaard:  My complaints were all good, genuine ones that many other people have agreed with me on.

Illusive One:  Again, they were all generic arguments people have made against the movie and you haven’t come up with anything new.  What was the point?  Everyone has said these things a million times over so why the hell even bother?

Korsgaard:  Dances with Wolves is second rate, especially when the film that got snubbed for its Best Picture award was Goodfellas, a movie that has proven FAR more important than Dances with White Guilt, I mean wolves.

Illusive One:  I could make all kinds of bigoted and racist accusations for that last remark.  But I’ll avoid that this time.  I personably liked both movies and Dances with Wolves is not second rate film by any means.

Korsgaard:  I had asked Adamthinks.com for usage of their image and they agreed to it, on the condition I erased their sites name in the event they did not agree with the content. He also took the time to inform me it wasn't copy-righted in the first place, so his permission wasn't needed.

Illusive One:  That is bullshit.  I don’t believe that for a moment.  When I brought this up, a while back you insisted that it was your creation.  When I brought up the smudging you claimed that it was to get rid of some Japanese company that owned the DVD and told me how you “created” the image.  And you contacted adamthinks.com for an image that you could just pull off Google images?  How fucking simple do you think I am?  Maybe it wasn’t copyrighted but you still took credit for it and it was still fucked up.

Korsgaard:  My article has been met with great appeal among my military readers, whom agreed on all major points. You have never been in the service, so I will forgive your ignorance on this part.

Illusive One:  Military readers?  I thought the article was aimed at people who aren’t in the military?  To dispel the myths that they know of.  My ignorance wasn’t the problem.  It’s that the article failed to really convince its targeted audience.  So in that regard, it’s still a fuckup.

Korsgaard:  As for the government owning your ass in the military, that's not a myth, so why would I dispell it?

Illusive One:  Well…not much I can say to that other then you destroyed any possibility of me ever going into the military.  Nicely done.

Korsgaard:  The book in question was called 'The Short second life of Bree Tanner', and it came out in the summer of 2010. Nontheless, my rage came from the fangirls swarming around the display case. Looks like someone needs to re-read it.

Illusive One:  Hu.  That’s odd.  Missed that one entirely.

Korsgaard:  Edward is 117. Bella is 17. That makes him a pedophile in most states. Sure he doesnt have to go for woman in thier hundreds, but there are plenty of women over the age of consent (18), and instead, he goes for an underage minor. Thus, pedophile.

Illusive One:  Again, there is a massive difference between a jail bait chaser and a pedophile and going after a 17 year old makes him a jail bait chaser.  Didn’t hear you make the same complaint against Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen even though he was like thirty years older than Silk Specter and started screwing her when she was sixteen.  Get you terminology correct you fucking idiot!

Korsgaard:  Edward has sex with Bella... while she is knocked out. In every legal sense, that is rape.

Illusive One:  Umm…I’m just going to stay away from that one because I don’t care enough to confirm it or find something to debate it.  It’s honestly not worth my time.

Korsgaard:  The twilight saga is the fantasies of an obese Mormon housewife, and me apologizing for that mental image does not make that any less true.

Illusive One:  Still went a little far dude.

Korsgaard:  Pictures have always been an issue. Feel free to help.

Illusive One:  You gonna pay me?  I got my own stuff to work on.

Korsgaard:  I wrote the bio on the fly over a year ago. Since you pointed it out, I am working on replacing it.

Illusive One:  Good to know.  The sooner the better.

Korsgaard:  My article was on Government unions, and I said so several times in the article.

Illusive One:  A good chunk of it was aimed at unions in general.  That’s unforgivably off topic.

Korsgaard:  As for the free market unions, they are a relic. Notice how non-unionized factories owned by Toyota built in the US pay workers just slightly less, yet they treat workers better, hire more people, and unlike their unionized brothers in Detroit, they are keeping the factory doors open.

Illusive One:  They’re not a relic and many factories in Detroit are still open.  And the unionized ones are unionized because they’re in cities where people might as well be bugs; easily squashed and easily replaced.  Again, you really don’t have any place to judge this dude.  I could go into exactly why, but the end result would come off as a bunch of insults.

Korsgaard:  The problem with your accusation of being contrarian, is that is an accusation entirely in the eye of the beholder. Consider that my readers apparently agree with me on a number of those issues, so I must be saying something right.

Illusive One:  I have to admit, that entire section came more out of a personal knowledge of you then your actual articles.  As far as your readers go, most of them seem to be in a same mind set as you so I’m not really sure that helps your case.

Korsgaard:  I am far from the only critic who puts forward those points. To give one example, the Nostalgia Critic, whom we both agree is a fine critic, put How to Train your Dragon as the best movie of 2010 as well. He ranked Toy Story 3 number 4. Feel free to bitch him out about how he's an idiot for thinking so.

Illusive One:  I actually saw that list and that is bullshit.  For one thing, most of them weren’t in any order and they were his favorite, not what he considered the best.  Second, he had Black Swan as number one you idiot!  Were you just not paying attention to what you were writing or just lying to give your argument more weight?  Again, neither would surprise me!

Korsgaard:  My movie reviews, once again, are all in the eye of the beholder. I write what I think, and if you want my opinion, feel free to take my advice. If not, you don't care about movie reviews in the first place anyway do you?

Illusive One:  Well, that clears that up.  They still make no sense whatsoever but it clears it up.

Korsgaard:  I do not aim to be Ebert or Roper. I aim to be Korsgaard.

Illusive One:  I didn’t accuse you of trying to be them.  I accuse you of trying to be taken as seriously as them.  Actually read what I write you Danish douche!

Korsgaard:  You aside, my reivews are highly regarded and read by most of the people who see them.

Illusive One:  Don’t believe that one.  People always disagree and those who do agree with you are probably not in the mood to argue with you or have a similar mind set to you.

Korsgaard:  My Tron Legacy review continues to be my most popular, and my most sourced.

Illusive One:  That’s probably because it’s one of your oldest.  You review of it still makes no sense.

Korsgaard:  Kickass is not obscure or mediocre.

Illusive One:  I’m sorry dude, but compared to all the other stuff out there it is and reaction to it was split in half and again, no one really remembers it or talks about it.  Why did it make your list?  Because it was your personal pick.

Korsgaard:  Akira is one of the most influential films - notice I said films, not comic book movies - of all time. If you have not heard of it, that is your loss.

Illusive One:  I’ll be sure to give it a watch sometime but again it’s not a movie to many people have heard of so that wasn’t a wise pick on your part.

Korsgaard:  Batman seems dated to me.

Illusive One:  You know what else is dated?  Superman! Yet that made your frikkin list!

Korsgaard:  Spiderman 2 was OK.

Illusive One:  Your opinion, still better pick then Kick-Ass

Korsgaard:  Sin City tanked at the box office, had mixed reviews, and is mostly forgotten aside from fans. Also, as you know, I hated it.

Illusive One:  That is not true at all.  On a budget of 40 million it made 60 million in the U.S. and 156.7 million worldwide.  That is not a tanking at the box office by any means.  Mixed?  The reviews were largely positive.  Did you actually look it up?  Many critics felt was the best comic book film ever made at the time and you say the reaction was mixed?  The only reason most people don’t remember it is because Rodriguez fucked up developing the sequel.  And you hated it?!  This is news to me!  WHAT THE FUCK!?

Korsgaard:  My favorite film on the list, for the record, is the Crow. In hindsight, I gave it the five slot because i feared ranking it higher would reek of bias.

Illusive One:  Good call on your part.  Didn’t help much though.

Korsgaard:  300 was essentially the Matrix of action scenes for the decades latter half, that alone secures it a spot high on the list.

Illusive One:  As Michael Bay has proven many times, ACTION SCENES DO NOT MAKE A GOOD MOVIE!

Korsgaard:    Dark Knight was complained about because I feel alot of people igore its flaws. Good movie, but people tend to sanctify it.

Illusive One:  They sanctify it because it’s practically the Citizen Kane of superhero movies, (you know what I mean by this).  It had a few faults, (what movie doesn’t?) but again it seemed like you were trying to downplay it as much as possible.  WHAT THE FUCK!?

Korsgaard:  As for Iron Man, legacy is wholly relevant.

Illusive One:  Only if you consider a bunch of popcorn movies that will be forgotten about in a decade a legacy.

Korsgaard:  Your land before time analogy is a shitty analogy. The Avengers series of films is unprecedented in modern cinema, and that is a huge achievement for a film featuring a D-list superhero to inspire.

Illusive One:  Yea, I admit I could have done a better analogy then that.  As far as you Avengers achievement goes another franchise already something very similar with much more success.  HARRY POTTER!  Now granted it is huge considering the superheroes but that doesn’t change the fact that their all just popcorn movies with popcorn movie acting, popcorn movie writing and popcorn movie directing.  Their entertaining but are quickly forgotten about.

Korsgaard:    Iron Man also inspired real world military technology. If I see the USA's next Battle Tank get based of the Batmobile, we'll talk.

Illusive One:  I’ll believe your Iron Man tech when I see it.  As far as Batman goes, just about all of his equipment was or based on actual military gear.  It just takes a creative mind to make some of that stuff.  Your iron man suit is still science fiction and probably will be for a long time.  Batman stuff is actually plausible and can and does exist.

Korsgaard:   I am far from the first to rank them this way. Other examples include Empire Magazine, Wizard Magazine, Entertainment weekly, and even IGN.com. Feel free to bitch them out at your leisure fan boy

Illusive One:  I looked those lists up.  You’re a liar.

Korsgaard:  Watchmen was an amazing film. The fact you tired to find faults in at after I ranked it number one however, points to a dark contrarian nature of your own.

Illusive One:  I had already seen these faults long ago and I still consider it one of my favorite films of all time.  I just don’t think it should be number one. That’s all.  And there is a contrarian in all of us.  You just tend to let it dominate your personality.

Korsgaard:  You will do a top ten best list. Mark my words, I'll find a way ;-)

Illusive One:  Somehow, I think your right.

Korsgaard:  Happy Birthday IO, you magnificent bastard!

Illusive One:  Why thank you Korsgaard!  Would you like some of my poisoned-I mean chocolate cake?

            So that about wraps this post up.  Korsgaard, I await your response.  Oh and feel free to have some of that cake.  It’s to die for.  GAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH HA HA HA!

           

           So until next time, this is The Illusive One sighing off.

One Year on The Illusive One's Reviews

V.S.

            Well, this is it!  My one year anniversary!  For exactly one year I have been writing and publishing posts to this blog!  Honestly, I can't believe I made it this far or with as many views I've raked in.  So for this special occasion, I decided to pay homage to the blogger who got me into this, Korsgaard.  And how do I plan on paying homage to this person?  Well, I intend to pick out the top ten fuck-ups on his blog, Korsgaard's Commentary.  Now I know what you're thinking.  “Isn't that a messed up way to thank the guy who got you into blogging?”  Well, he normally values my criticism but I don't always get in what needs to be said and sometimes he flat out ignores my opinions and advice.  So consider this both constructive criticism and revenge.  AH HA HA HA HA HA!  So anyway, here are The Top Ten Fuck-Ups of Korsgaard's Commentary.

Number Ten

Editing Errors

            I don't think I have ever seen a blog so well written yet with such piss poor editing.  For example, I cannot begin to count how many times I have seen “a lot” spelled as “alot”, various misspelling of words or just writing words that don’t exist, see sentences with very bad structure, and those that were just unfinished.  The most notable example I can think of is his post entitled Mila Kunis accepts Marine's date offer (AKA the idea me and every other member of the military wish we had thought of first).  Are you fucking kidding me dude?  You don't need a Masters in English to know that the “me” should have been replaced with “I” and “I” should have gone after “everyone in the army”.  What else can I say?  It's a fuck up but it's one that can be easily rectified by proof reading and spinning the post through Microsoft Word.  Let's hope he does it in the future.

Number Nine

My Thoughts on Avatar Post

            Yea, there was no way in hell this one was going to escape my radar. Now I put this one fairly low on the list because it was actually a fairly well written post and points out a lot of problems with the film.  The only problem is that I had already heard them all before and it sounded like he just ripped off every generic or nitpicking argument people have against the film.  It was beyond obvious that he looked up every generic and nitpicking argument against the film such as its Dances with Wolves type plot, (and who the fuck are you to say that was a second-rate film you dick?), and the supposed racism themes the film employs.  As far as the acting goes, it wasn't Oscar worthy, nor was the writing but it wasn't nearly as terrible as he made it out to be and considering the acting he’s praised in his blog it doesn’t make any sense that he would pan the acting in this film, (oh and well get to those later).

            His biggest fuckup in this entire post, however, is the picture he uses for it shown below.

            Now I know what you’re thinking.  It’s kind of amusing so how does it constitute as a fuck up?  Well, he takes credit for it as his own creation yet it’s not.  The actual site this picture comes from is another blog site called Adam Thinks.com where he has a picture that is identical to Korsgaard’s posted below. 

How do I know Korsgaard ripped it off?  Well for one thing, the post came out in December of 2009 and Korsgaard’s post didn’t come out until after August of the next year and he didn’t add that image for several months after.  If that isn’t proof enough, if you zoom in to the bottom left corner of the image you can see where Korsgaard tried to smudge out the site’s label.  Nice try dude, but not good enough.

Need I say anymore?  You lacked originality in this post, took every generic argument you could find, and tried to pass someone else Photoshop image as your own.  That’s just wrong dude.  Just wrong.  

Number Eight

Myths V.S. Realities of Military Service

            From what I gather, Korsgaard's intention with this post was to dispel what he considers to be common misconceptions about the military.  Did he succeed?  Well, not really.  In fact, if anything, he seemed to have reinforced some of those misconceptions.  From his own experience in training camp, he describes what seems like something directly out of Full Metal Jacket and most of that part of the post is dedicated to describing it despite the fact that he is trying to dispel it.  That in itself made me want to stay as far away from the registration areas as possible.  Then he tries to say that most other training camps aren't like that but by then the damage was done and the idea was already reinforced.  The bigoted area he had a bit more success in, and the food area didn't seem to dispel it or reinforce it.  The area where he explains that all soldiers aren't models of discipline is one he also seems to reinforce.  Some of them, like the PTSD time bomb myth he seemed to downplay, almost as if it was true, he knew it was true and he wanted to ignore it.  However, his biggest fuck up in this entire post was that he failed to address the most common conception of the military; when you enlist the government owns you.  Why didn't he include that?  I honestly don't know but it annoyed me.  In the end, this post wasn't a complete failure but he failed to dispel most of what he considers to be misconceptions and that constitutes as a fuck-up.

Number Seven

Korsgaard V.S. Twilight





V.S.

            Yea, I'm actually kind of ashamed to mention this because this was easily Korsgaard's best post.  But, sadly, it also contained a large number of flaws to it.  For starters this post came out in month of 2010, yet he claims he weekend was ruined by a Twilight book that was released earlier that summer.  Interesting considering that the last Twilight book came out in 2008.  Then you had a paragraph on how much he hates Twilight yet had done his best to avoid writing an “I hate Twilight” post.  Who were you trying to kid dude?  This one was obviously planned out and there is no doubt in my mind or in the minds of other people I know who read this post that you intended to write this one.  I mean come on.

            After that, unlike all of his other rant posts, it turns into a well thought out and flat out hilarious post on all the things that make the series stupid.  However, he actually goes a little too far with it.  In one part, for example, he actually accuses the author of writing about her sexual fantasies and later describes the books as horribly disguised fetish-fuel.  Maybe this was intended to be a joke but it kind of rubbed me the wrong way and seemed to cross the line.  Later he also claims that Edward rapes Bella but to my knowledge that isn't true at all.  I know in one book they have sex, (don't ask me how I know this because I'm ashamed to admit that I do), but as far as I know it was consensual.  Later in that very same paragraph he calls him a jail bait chasing pedophile.  Who are you kidding dude?  Pedophiles go after little children and are not the same as jail bait chasers.  As far as chasing jail bait goes...well can you honestly see him going after women who are over a hundred? Not to mention, jail bait laws tend to differ from country to country and even state to state so saying this really didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

            The last problem is that everything in this post is out of context.  From what I gather, it makes a lot more sense and isn’t nearly as bad when you actually read the books or see the movies but here Korsgaard just rants about everything that is wrong with them out of context and that constitutes as a fuck up

Once again, I really am ashamed that I'm defending Twilight in pointing out Korsgarrd's fuck ups but it is what it is.  It's a very funny post and I would highly recommend reading it, but it still goes just a little too far with its panning and makes statements that aren’t entirely true and that merits a place for the number seven spot.

Number Six

Korsgaard's Commentary Pictures

Yea, lets ignore the for mentioned Avatar picture and just focus on all the others and no he didn't use the Korsgaard V.S. Twilight pictures I have above.  This was something he never even considered doing before I started doing The Illusive One's Reviews yet it couldn't have been simpler.  Add in pictures to relieve the strain on your readers’ eyes and make it seem like what they're reading isn't as long.  It's something that pictures always seem to do yet Korsgaard can never seem to get them right.  It's not something that can really be explained but the images on his blog just never look right to me.  Sometimes it has to do with the way he places the images and at other times it has to do with the ones he used but they never seem to part of the article and do nothing to relieve the strain on his reader’s eyes.  It's an area he certainly needs to work on and can improve on but for now it remains one of his fuck up. 
By the way, don't ever, and I mean ever, click on his site's banner.  It will send your internet into an oblivion where the site will constantly open a new window browser.  Finnaly found out where all your views come from ass hole!   

Number Five

Korsgarrd's Bio

            My God, did this one stink of arrogance, self-importance, and looked like someone screaming for attention.  Here's how it reads:

            “I am an just an interesting person, with a unique take on most things. On this blog, I give my perspective on a wide range op topics, ranging from pop culture and current events, thoughts of mine or things I have noticed, to things going on in my everyday life. I hope that since you are here viewing them, you can enjoy the humor and insight they provide. Feel free to subscribe, leave a comment, or even request for me to do a piece on a certain topic. And, as always, welcome to Korsgaard's Commentary! If you wish you contact me, request a future blog post topic, or just let me know what you think, email me at korsgaardscommentary @gmail.com.”

Need I saw more?  For starters the writing style, grammar, editing in this is horrible but then there is the context of the bio itself.  The first line alone just stinks of arrogance and self-importance.  Actually calling yourself “an interesting person” doesn’t make you sound interesting.  It makes you sound like a stuck up asshole with a high opinion of yourself.  You really need to change that dude.

Number Four

Why Wisconsin Needs to Face Down the Government Unions

            Now originally this was actually my number one pick but I dropped it down a few points, mainly because it's not really a relevant issue anymore.  Like a lot of Korsgaard's political posts, they just address what's going on right now and, like the events themselves, are quickly forgotten about.  But this one still gets me to my boiling point.

            I knew from the moment I saw the title of this post, I was going to want Korsgaard's heart on a plate for it.  When I got done reading it however, not only did I want his heat on a plate, I wanted to take his soul out of his living body, give it to Satin to torture for a thousand years, and keep his soul locked in purgatory for all eternity.  That is how much this post enraged me. 

            This post in itself would not have been so bad if it hadn't been for a few things.  For one thing, the guy goes out of his way to demonize Unions.  Not the government unions but all the unions in the private sector as well and claims that they no longer serve a purpose.  In fact, he actually goes so far as to accuse them of being the key cause of the recession.  Not poor management.  Not bad spending or gambling on the stock market.  The Unions.  That is just ignorant and stupid.  Later he goes on to say that the Unions, not government unions, have no real place in the modern world and are crippling our industry.  Ok, for one thing, how would you know?  Have you ever worked in car or steel factory?  Have you ever worked in a meat processing factory?  Have you ever worked in any kind of place with those kinds of conditions?  Didn't think so.  You don't have any more right to decide or judge that then I do.  As far as companies not being able to get away with worker abuse goes, that just once again shows stupidity and ignorance on your part.  You would be surprised at kind of abuse and mistreatment a person can and will go through just to keep a job, especially if they have a family to think about.  And are you suggesting that we feel sorry for our bosses just because their making three billion a year rather than three point one billion a year?  Yea, you're not convincing anyone on that one dude.

            Now all of this was more than enough to merit a fuck up on this list but there was one final thing that drove this one over the edge for me  To quote Korsgaard's post, “I would like to point out that the three most essential government jobs are also the occupations not unionized: soldiers, police officers, and fire fighters.”  Soldiers, I honestly don't know about but I know for a fact that in Wisconsin and many other states both police officers and fire fighters are unionized.  In fact, I distinctly remember fire fighters being right alongside the other government union members in protest.  Honestly, I don't know what Korsgaard was thinking when he wrote these things.  I'm honestly not sure if he was ignorant to these facts or if he was just lying to give his argument more strength and honestly neither would surprise me.  When I actually addressed this he insisted that I was wrong.  I don't know why but I don't think it was for any reason other than he was afraid to look stupid and that in itself was stupid.   

          In the end, this entire post was just wrong.  It was wrong in its facts, it was wrong politically, it was wrong morally, in showed Korsgard in an ignorant and stupid light, and worst off, half of it wasn't even about government unions.  And that is why it's one of Korsgaard's biggest fuck ups.   

Number Three

The Contradicting/Contrarian Nature of Korsgaard's Commentary

            What the hell is that supposed to mean?  Well, give me a minute and I'll tell you.  If you’ve read Korsgaard’s blog for as long as I have, you’ll probably notice a not so subtle pattern emerge.  Mainly, that whenever something is popular, Korsgaard, with one or two exceptions, tends to hate it and will dedicate entire posts to how much he hates it.  The most notable examples of this include Avatar, Twilight, Glee, Justin Biber, among many others.  And, like his Avatar post he never says anything that a dozen other people haven’t said a dozen other times.

            Then there are times when he chooses the less popular thing over the more popular thing for no apparent reason other than it’s less popular and there are many examples of this throughout his blog.  For example he chooses How to Train Your Pet Dragon over Toy Story 3 and Iron Man over The Dark Knight, (well get more into the latter later), and throughout various other posts chooses the less popular thing over and over and over.

            Granted, every now and then this will turn out a good post but for the most part they don’t do anything other than get me pissed off at the guy.  He just always seems to choose the less popular of any two simply because it's less popular and it pisses me off beyond belief.  Worst of all, it almost seems like he's trying to attract attention to himself just by doing this and given his bio that would not surprise me at all.  It's like his idea is just to garner as much notice as possible by saying Avatar sucks or Iron Man is better than The Dark Knight.  Maybe I'm completely wrong about this but I honestly don't think I am and I'm not sure Korsgaard is even aware it.  I'm not saying he should lie and say he likes these films more simply because everyone else does but don't do it just to attract attention to yourself and make you stand out in a crowd.  It's just....wrong.

Number Two

Any of Korsgaard's Movie Reviews

            To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what the point of these reviews are.  I can't tell if they're just supposed to be his thoughts on them, meant influence his readers to see or not to see the films, or if he's trying to be a serious movie reviewer.  The way he reviews these films seems to indicate the former two but at the same time, the way he writes them seems to indicate that he wants to be taken as seriously as film critics like Rodger Ebert or Richard Roper.  If the latter is true then he is definitely failing at it.

            The first major flaw with his movie reviews is how he opens them.  With most of his movie reviews about a quarter of the post is just him ranting about the franchise, the people who made the movie, or both and how he hates or loves them.  NO ONE FUCKING CARES!  JUST GET TO THE FUCKING MOVIE!  The main problem, however, is that he fails to really weigh the pros and cons of a film and only seems to praise or pan it.  When he likes a film, he praises the crap out of it, and only seems to skim over the bad things about it.  When he hates a movie, he goes out of his way to pan the crap out of it while skimming over everything that's good about it.  Not to mention a lot of what he says is flat out untrue or doesn’t make any sense.  The way he reviews some of these films, I swear he was high or something when he saw them.  The best example of this is in his Tron: Legacy Review.  Now I’ve already gone over this film with a fine tooth comb and if you look at my reviews of the film and his, you will clearly see a difference of opinions but some most of the stuff he praises makes no sense what so ever.  In it, he actually goes out of his way to praise the acting of Garret Hedlund and Oliva Wilde even though their acting was wooden at best and their lines terrible.  To make it even worse, he goes out of his way to pan Jeff Bridges acting when his only flaw was the crappy dialog he had to deal with.  Seriously Korsgaard?

            Whenever I bring this up, he still defends his position on them calling Wilde’s acting quirky.  Let me make one thing perfectly clear about that.  It was not quirky.  The dialog in Pulp Fiction was quirky.  Henry Jones in The Last Crusade was quirky.  John Hurt’s character in Kingdom of Crystal Skull was quirky.  Michael C. Hall in Dexter is quirky in a very morbid way.  Fucking Jeremy Irons in Dungeons and Dragons was quirky.  Weeds is quirky.  Breaking Bad is quirky.  House is quirky.  Wilde was not.  It was obvious she was trying BUT FAILED MIERABLY AT IT!  Why he insists on defending this error in his review I’ll never know but I digress.

            A few more recent examples of this include Conan the Barbarian, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Green Lantern, where he continuously gets what he should be praising and panning mixed up and just seem like a thrashing or panning.

            In the end, I still don't know what his intentions with these posts are.  As reviewing posts, they're just not that good.  If his intention was just to give his impression of the film and wasn’t meant to be taken seriously I do apologize to him for including this in The Top Ten Fuck-Ups.

Even if they make no sense what-so-ever.

Now I know what you're probably thinking.  How can anything be worse than the flaws above?  Well, a lot of the for-mentioned things annoy me and piss me off but for the most part, I'm able to overlook or forget about them.  But there is that I haven't been able to forget about.  One that I have never been able to forgive Korsgaard for.  One that completely destroyed his credibility in the subject he was blogging in.  One that no matter how many times I see it, I just want to take a baseball bat to the guy's head.  What was the post that drove to such lengths?  Well take a look below.

And At

Number One

Top Ten Best Comic Book Movies of All Time

My God was this one infuriating.  Everything about this top ten list was just wrong.  The choices were wrong, the ordering was wrong, and, most importantly, a lot of what he said about the films was just wrong.  With the exception of the list I'm doing now, this was the list that killed top ten lists for me and just ruined Korsgarrd's credibility as a film reviewer.  This honestly wouldn't have been so bad if he stated that his list was purely opinion based but it doesn't.   The only thing that even hints at this is when he says “here is my list for Top Ten Best Comic Book Movies of all Time”.  However, everything else seems to indicate that this is the list that everyone should consider right and it just stinks of “I'm right and if you disagree with me, you're wrong”.  Then there is the biggest problem with this list.  He claims that he took several things into account when making this list, “ranging from the more common levels of acting and film quality, to popular legacy and critical impact”.  That's just bullshit.  The entire list was obviously comprised of his favorite comic book films, and not necessarily the best.  So now that that's out in the open let’s take a look at just why this list is wrong.

            If you were like me, you knew the instant you saw his number ten pick that this was going to be a bad list.  When your number ten is a forgettable and obscure film based off of a comic that most people have never heard of like Kick-Ass, you're not setting yourself up to a good start.  Then there was his number nine pick; a very obscure animated film called Akira.  Once again, it stunk of personal preference.  Honestly, if you were to pick a hundred people out of a crowd and ask them about this film, they probably wouldn't have even heard of it.  So how the hell does it get a spot on this list?  Because it was Korsgaard's personal pick for the spot.  Right off the bat I can think of three comic book films that knocked these two off the map.  What are they you may ask?  Why, Batman (1989), Spiderman 2, and Sin City. 

            His picks from eight to four weren't bad but several were, again, inferior to the for-mentioned films above in several of the things he claimed to take into account and the ordering of these films never seemed right to me and placing 300 at number four was just stupid.  I'm sorry dude, but for as much ass as that movie kicked it didn't deserve that high of a spot.  Then there was his number one pick, Watchmen.  Now I have to admit, the placing of this film at number one didn't bother me that much when I first saw it because I loved that movie also.  But after re-watching it and discovering what the critical and financial reaction to it was I discovered that it was a pretty shitty pick for number one.  Again, I loved the film, but it didn't deserve the number one spot by any means.  Why do I say this?  Well, it was a success at the box office but it was nothing noteworthy and the critical reaction to it was mixed.  That aside, no one really remembers it so it doesn’t really have much of a critical legacy and all that more or less keeps it from any real critic's number one spot.  So why did he place it their?  Because it was his personal favorite.

            Then there is the worst part of this entire post.  All of these other things I could forgive but this was what really pushed it to the number one spot and forever destroyed my faith in Korsgaard's ability to review and critique films.  What was this?  He put Iron Man at number two and The Dark Knight at number three.  In short, how the fuck do you place Iron Man ahead of The Dark Knight?!  It makes no fucking sense!

            Here's why:  Iron Man had nothing, and I mean nothing on The Dark Knight.  For starters, The Dark Knight grossed over twice the amount of money Iron Man did.  Second, critical reaction to The Dark Knight was overwhelmingly better.  Third, The Dark Knight appeared in very high on nearly every major film critics' top films of the year lists.  Iron Man, not so much.  When The Dark Knight got snubbed for a Best Picture nomination, (something Korsgaard actually addressed in an earlier post), people got pissed.  No one made a peep for Iron Man.  Then you have the individual things that were all around better.  The acting was better, the story was better, the themes are better, characters were better, the special effects were better and just had layers of depth to it that no other comic book based film, (or many other films for that matter), have been able to match.  And this isn't just my opinion.  Just about every film critic out their agrees with me on this and most people who aren't contrarians or prefer popcorn movies agree with me on this as well. 

            Then there was the way he described these two films which goes back to the way he reviews films and to his contrarian/contradicting nature.  With The Dark Knight he actually goes out of his way to pan the damn thing, something he doesn’t do in any other descriptions calling the plot to complicated and praises Iron Man up the ass, while ignore all its faults.  I mean what the hell!?

            We've had many debates over this and neither one of us relents but in all these debates, he has only made two valid points.  The first is that Robert Downy Jr. was a perfect casting decision for the part.  Ok.  Fair enough.  But here's my argument.  Does that make the character himself better?  No!  It doesn’t.  That lies in the writing and the writing for Batman's character was a lot better.  Second, it's his belief that the popular legacy of Iron Man is what pushes it ahead of The Dark Knight.  What does he mean by this?  Well, the fact that it spawned a sequel, two spinoffs and an up and an up and coming Avengers film.  True, but here's my argument.  Doesn’t that just prove I'm right?  The fact that he has to go into the sequels and spinoffs just shows that film itself can't stand on its own two feet in comparison.  And have any of those films proven to be better than The Dark Knight?  Have any of them out grossed the film?  Have any of them had such a critical impact?  I didn't think so.  Saying that a film is better than another just because it spawned a few spinoffs just isn't true.  By that logic The Land Before Time is the greatest animated film of all time just because of all the sequels it spawned.  It just doesn’t make any sense and I don't really know what else to say about it.  It just infuriated me.  Granted I would never debate that Iron Man deserves a spot on this list but it DOES NOT deserve to be ahead of The Dark Knight.   

What else can I say about this list?  It was his worst top ten list.  That's about it.  It was full of personal picks and preferences orders, stunk of his contrarian nature, forever destroyed top ten lists for me, and destroyed all of my faith in Korsgaard's abilities to review and critique films.  I think one of the worst parts about it, however, is how good a lot of his other top ten lists are in comparison.  Granted they all have their faults, but they're still pretty damn good.  This one, however, just seemed like it was put together by a contrarian, contradicting dickhead trying to attract attention to himself and it's just infuriating    All of this gives it more than enough power for me to declare it his biggest fuck up.

And those are Korsgaard's Top Ten Fuckups.  Bad movie reviews, fucked up editing, stuck up bios, contradicting/contrarian nature and of course the worst top ten list ever.  Now these aren’t his only fuck ups and there are a lot of others that I couldn’t squeeze on this list but in my opinion these are the worst.  Odds are that he will not acknowledge any of these mistakes and will defend his position on them till the day he dies and prove to me that this entire post was a wasted effort.  If I'm right...well thanks for ruining my one year anniversary post you contrarian, stuck up, dick head!  So until next time, this is The Illusive One saying happy birthday to my blog and signing off! 

And NO!  I'M NO DOING A BEST OF KORSGAARD POST SO STOP ANNYING ME ABOUT IT!