Well, it’s been a slow month, and I’m kind of ashamed that so few posts have come out. My first post of the month was dedicated to going over Korsgaard’s, (of Korsgaard’s Commentary), Top Ten Fuckups for my one year anniversary and he’s still insists that I do a best of post for him. Why have I refused to do this? Well, because he’s been a bit of a naggy dick about it and I enjoy hearing him beg. Not to mention it’s his idea and will probably just fuel his arrogance and self importance. Continue to beg Korsgaard. It makes me laugh.
Korsgaard: Add links. They help.
Illusive One: I’m just going to be very blunt about this. This was not an easy post to put together. I had all kinds of technical problems with the words, the way everything was ordered and such which still continue and make no sense whatsoever. Hence why they’re not there. Annoying text problems that make it very difficult to add anything.
Illusive One: Good to hear and you’re welcome.
Korsgaard: The Avatar post was done in 2010 because I had not seen the movie until that week in August.
Illusive One: And? I wasn’t criticizing the date you did it.
Korsgaard: My complaints were all good, genuine ones that many other people have agreed with me on.
Illusive One: Again, they were all generic arguments people have made against the movie and you haven’t come up with anything new. What was the point? Everyone has said these things a million times over so why the hell even bother?
Korsgaard: Dances with Wolves is second rate, especially when the film that got snubbed for its Best Picture award was Goodfellas, a movie that has proven FAR more important than Dances with White Guilt, I mean wolves.
Illusive One: I could make all kinds of bigoted and racist accusations for that last remark. But I’ll avoid that this time. I personably liked both movies and Dances with Wolves is not second rate film by any means.
Korsgaard: I had asked Adamthinks.com for usage of their image and they agreed to it, on the condition I erased their sites name in the event they did not agree with the content. He also took the time to inform me it wasn't copy-righted in the first place, so his permission wasn't needed.
Illusive One: That is bullshit. I don’t believe that for a moment. When I brought this up, a while back you insisted that it was your creation. When I brought up the smudging you claimed that it was to get rid of some Japanese company that owned the DVD and told me how you “created” the image. And you contacted adamthinks.com for an image that you could just pull off Google images? How fucking simple do you think I am? Maybe it wasn’t copyrighted but you still took credit for it and it was still fucked up.
Korsgaard: My article has been met with great appeal among my military readers, whom agreed on all major points. You have never been in the service, so I will forgive your ignorance on this part.
Illusive One: Military readers? I thought the article was aimed at people who aren’t in the military? To dispel the myths that they know of. My ignorance wasn’t the problem. It’s that the article failed to really convince its targeted audience. So in that regard, it’s still a fuckup.
Korsgaard: As for the government owning your ass in the military, that's not a myth, so why would I dispell it?
Illusive One: Well…not much I can say to that other then you destroyed any possibility of me ever going into the military. Nicely done.
Korsgaard: The book in question was called 'The Short second life of Bree Tanner', and it came out in the summer of 2010. Nontheless, my rage came from the fangirls swarming around the display case. Looks like someone needs to re-read it.
Illusive One: Hu. That’s odd. Missed that one entirely.
Korsgaard: Edward is 117. Bella is 17. That makes him a pedophile in most states. Sure he doesnt have to go for woman in thier hundreds, but there are plenty of women over the age of consent (18), and instead, he goes for an underage minor. Thus, pedophile.
Illusive One: Again, there is a massive difference between a jail bait chaser and a pedophile and going after a 17 year old makes him a jail bait chaser. Didn’t hear you make the same complaint against Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen even though he was like thirty years older than Silk Specter and started screwing her when she was sixteen. Get you terminology correct you fucking idiot!
Korsgaard: Edward has sex with Bella... while she is knocked out. In every legal sense, that is rape.
Illusive One: Umm…I’m just going to stay away from that one because I don’t care enough to confirm it or find something to debate it. It’s honestly not worth my time.
Korsgaard: The twilight saga is the fantasies of an obese Mormon housewife, and me apologizing for that mental image does not make that any less true.
Illusive One: Still went a little far dude.
Korsgaard: Pictures have always been an issue. Feel free to help.
Illusive One: You gonna pay me? I got my own stuff to work on.
Korsgaard: I wrote the bio on the fly over a year ago. Since you pointed it out, I am working on replacing it.
Illusive One: Good to know. The sooner the better.
Korsgaard: My article was on Government unions, and I said so several times in the article.
Illusive One: A good chunk of it was aimed at unions in general. That’s unforgivably off topic.
Korsgaard: As for the free market unions, they are a relic. Notice how non-unionized factories owned by Toyota built in the US pay workers just slightly less, yet they treat workers better, hire more people, and unlike their unionized brothers in Detroit, they are keeping the factory doors open.
Illusive One: They’re not a relic and many factories in Detroit are still open. And the unionized ones are unionized because they’re in cities where people might as well be bugs; easily squashed and easily replaced. Again, you really don’t have any place to judge this dude. I could go into exactly why, but the end result would come off as a bunch of insults.
Korsgaard: The problem with your accusation of being contrarian, is that is an accusation entirely in the eye of the beholder. Consider that my readers apparently agree with me on a number of those issues, so I must be saying something right.
Illusive One: I have to admit, that entire section came more out of a personal knowledge of you then your actual articles. As far as your readers go, most of them seem to be in a same mind set as you so I’m not really sure that helps your case.
Korsgaard: I am far from the only critic who puts forward those points. To give one example, the Nostalgia Critic, whom we both agree is a fine critic, put How to Train your Dragon as the best movie of 2010 as well. He ranked Toy Story 3 number 4. Feel free to bitch him out about how he's an idiot for thinking so.
Illusive One: I actually saw that list and that is bullshit. For one thing, most of them weren’t in any order and they were his favorite, not what he considered the best. Second, he had Black Swan as number one you idiot! Were you just not paying attention to what you were writing or just lying to give your argument more weight? Again, neither would surprise me!
Korsgaard: My movie reviews, once again, are all in the eye of the beholder. I write what I think, and if you want my opinion, feel free to take my advice. If not, you don't care about movie reviews in the first place anyway do you?
Illusive One: Well, that clears that up. They still make no sense whatsoever but it clears it up.
Korsgaard: I do not aim to be Ebert or Roper. I aim to be Korsgaard.
Illusive One: I didn’t accuse you of trying to be them. I accuse you of trying to be taken as seriously as them. Actually read what I write you Danish douche!
Korsgaard: You aside, my reivews are highly regarded and read by most of the people who see them.
Illusive One: Don’t believe that one. People always disagree and those who do agree with you are probably not in the mood to argue with you or have a similar mind set to you.
Korsgaard: My Tron Legacy review continues to be my most popular, and my most sourced.
Illusive One: That’s probably because it’s one of your oldest. You review of it still makes no sense.
Korsgaard: Kickass is not obscure or mediocre.
Illusive One: I’m sorry dude, but compared to all the other stuff out there it is and reaction to it was split in half and again, no one really remembers it or talks about it. Why did it make your list? Because it was your personal pick.
Korsgaard: Akira is one of the most influential films - notice I said films, not comic book movies - of all time. If you have not heard of it, that is your loss.
Illusive One: I’ll be sure to give it a watch sometime but again it’s not a movie to many people have heard of so that wasn’t a wise pick on your part.
Korsgaard: Batman seems dated to me.
Illusive One: You know what else is dated? Superman! Yet that made your frikkin list!
Korsgaard: Spiderman 2 was OK.
Illusive One: Your opinion, still better pick then Kick-Ass
Korsgaard: Sin City tanked at the box office, had mixed reviews, and is mostly forgotten aside from fans. Also, as you know, I hated it.
Korsgaard: My favorite film on the list, for the record, is the Crow. In hindsight, I gave it the five slot because i feared ranking it higher would reek of bias.
Illusive One: Good call on your part. Didn’t help much though.
Korsgaard: 300 was essentially the Matrix of action scenes for the decades latter half, that alone secures it a spot high on the list.
Illusive One: As Michael Bay has proven many times, ACTION SCENES DO NOT MAKE A GOOD MOVIE!
Korsgaard: Dark Knight was complained about because I feel alot of people igore its flaws. Good movie, but people tend to sanctify it.
Illusive One: They sanctify it because it’s practically the Citizen Kane of superhero movies, (you know what I mean by this). It had a few faults, (what movie doesn’t?) but again it seemed like you were trying to downplay it as much as possible. WHAT THE FUCK!?
Korsgaard: As for Iron Man, legacy is wholly relevant.
Illusive One: Only if you consider a bunch of popcorn movies that will be forgotten about in a decade a legacy.
Korsgaard: Your land before time analogy is a shitty analogy. The Avengers series of films is unprecedented in modern cinema, and that is a huge achievement for a film featuring a D-list superhero to inspire.
Illusive One: Yea, I admit I could have done a better analogy then that. As far as you Avengers achievement goes another franchise already something very similar with much more success. HARRY POTTER! Now granted it is huge considering the superheroes but that doesn’t change the fact that their all just popcorn movies with popcorn movie acting, popcorn movie writing and popcorn movie directing. Their entertaining but are quickly forgotten about.
Korsgaard: Iron Man also inspired real world military technology. If I see the USA's next Battle Tank get based of the Batmobile, we'll talk.
Illusive One: I’ll believe your Iron Man tech when I see it. As far as Batman goes, just about all of his equipment was or based on actual military gear. It just takes a creative mind to make some of that stuff. Your iron man suit is still science fiction and probably will be for a long time. Batman stuff is actually plausible and can and does exist.
Korsgaard: I am far from the first to rank them this way. Other examples include Empire Magazine, Wizard Magazine, Entertainment weekly, and even IGN.com. Feel free to bitch them out at your leisure fan boy
Illusive One: I looked those lists up. You’re a liar.
Korsgaard: Watchmen was an amazing film. The fact you tired to find faults in at after I ranked it number one however, points to a dark contrarian nature of your own.
Illusive One: I had already seen these faults long ago and I still consider it one of my favorite films of all time. I just don’t think it should be number one. That’s all. And there is a contrarian in all of us. You just tend to let it dominate your personality.
Korsgaard: You will do a top ten best list. Mark my words, I'll find a way ;-)
Illusive One: Somehow, I think your right.
Korsgaard: Happy Birthday IO, you magnificent bastard!
Illusive One: Why thank you Korsgaard! Would you like some of my poisoned-I mean chocolate cake?