About Me

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Greetings. I am the Illusive One. For many years now I have been a huge video game player, movie viewer, and book reader. For almost as long, I have been a critic of these things and many people respect my opinions of these things and have often said I belong on G4 doing reviews on X-Play or a similar show. Sadly that is not likely to happen. So instead I shall do reviews for you, uninfluenced by other reviewers, of video games books, movies, and, occasionally, music and political actions. I hope you find this informative and helpful. Thank you for your time.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Small Look at Portal

Although it's been out for over three years, I only recently started playing the Orange Box.  For those of you who don't know or don't remember, the Orange Box was a collection of games released in 2007.  It contained Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2: Episode One, Half-Life 2: Episode 2, Team Fortress 2, and a short new game called Portal.  I recently beat Portal so I decided to give a short review on it.
            In the game, you play as a silent, faceless, nameless protagonist who wakes up in a facility for testing Portals and essentially become a lab rat for the testing of the Portal Gun while guided, (and I'm using the term very lightly), by a computer AI named GLaDOS.  Using the Portal Gun, you have to find your way through a number of obstacles that are designed to make you fail. 
            Other than that, there is not much to say about this game because that's all there is to it.  GLaDOS was a hilarious AI and by far more interesting than many other of the AI characters in video games these days and the end theme song was probably one of the best I have ever heard in a video game and was just as funny and entertaining as GLaDOS. 
            Besides that, I have nothing else to say because this just wasn’t my kind of game.  Puzzle solving and obstacle course conquering just isn’t my thing and I prefer just shooting the crap out of people or slicing things to pieces.  For those of you who aren’t aware, Portal 2 releases on April 18th.  So for those of you who like these kinds of games check it out but I can't give a proper rating on this game and that's all I have to say on Portal.   


  1. But theirs no sense crying
    over every mistake
    You just keep on trying
    till you you run out of cake
    And the science gets done
    And you make a neat gun
    For the people who are
    still alive